I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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