i think my mom watched the whole time
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
