Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
