We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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