? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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