So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
