did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
