For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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