i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
