If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
