I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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