Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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