I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
