where does the pee come out of this thing
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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