apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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