is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
