i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
this hospital has no fireball
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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