Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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