so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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