I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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