You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
im holly from the hills drunk
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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