Its about making memories worth repressing
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
