The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
