Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
