She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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