If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
