Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
