a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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