Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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