he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Your penis caused this!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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