I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
