I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He called his prostate his "boner button".
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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