but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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