So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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