It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
