I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Your penis caused this!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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