I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
