It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
