check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
