so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
