I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
