what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
