make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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