I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
