I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
