i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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