thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
