I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
