I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i out mim tonsoeep
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