just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Success! We fucked roommates!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
