just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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